Like most people, I like being a participant (or at least an observer) of major popular cultural events. For me this is a bit of a dichotomy because I shun crowds, but if I am safely ensconced in the event, I am a happy man. Arguably one of the biggest pop culture events to hit the Indianapolis area this year will be the opening of a brand new IKEA store. Their merchandise is quirky and interesting, the store layout and amenities are unique, and the process of launching this mammoth store must be fascinating. Simply put; I want to be involved. So, I went online and submitted an application. Hearing absolutely nothing, I decided to attend one of the IKEA job fairs. To be fair, I am overqualified for a floor sales position and I understand that my resume would create more doubt than appreciation, so I welcomed the chance to explain that I was serious about working for IKEA. Off I went to the Fair, and I actually picked up a quick UBER ride on the way that will definitely be a subject of a future blog.

The job fair was held at the Ivy Tech campus in Noblesville and there was a long, but manageable line so I took the applications, filled them out according to instruction, and took my place on line. And what a line: there were people of all stripes (and some probably had been in stripes at some point). I learned while on line that the fair was actually sponsored by Work One, a government-run employment service specializing in temporary or line level positions. No executives here, and that was perfect because I was not looking for a management position. I just want to be involved in this launch, help out the company for 10-15 hours a week, and have some fun doing it. So back to the people: some in shorts and T-shirts, most in khakis and casual shirts, a few ladies in heels but most in flats, LOTS of tattoos. And some of the most personable people you would ever want to meet. We had not formed a line. We formed a serpentine support group. Talking 3, 4, 5 people up or down the line, everybody had a story to share and were more than willing to share it. At one point we each talked about why we were unemployed. One tall, thin, lanky 30ish dude had been caught smoking pot at the gas station where he worked, the doughy 50ish guy next to me in a T-shirt and jeans was laid off because he couldn’t figure out the ‘damn’ iPad system introduced at the HVAC company. The rotund woman next to him was sick of cleaning other people’s homes. I felt a bit like I was hanging with the Group W bench in that song “Alice’s Restaurant”. And like them, we were having a lot of fun. There was only one guy in a suit on the whole line. He was about 2 years out of college and gave a long, drawn out explanation about his layoff. Pot-smoking guy gave him superb advice before I could get it out: “Dude, that’s all bullshit,” he said. “Just tell them that business sucked and you were laid off.” Word. I reinforced his wise counsel and helped him through a quick response. Then we all began practicing responses to that question. It was surreal. At one point I told them about UBER driving as a possible solution. iPad-guy asked if you could order an UBER car with a phone. He meant with a phone call. We gave him a short education and he was upset that he couldn’t even be an UBER rider, let alone driver, because his phone did not have app capability. No surprise there I guess.

At one point I noticed that everyone around me had filled out every line and every page of the application. I found that strange because the instructions I was given were to fill out only those boxes highlighted in yellow, and to skip several entire pages. I asked what they were told to do and someone did mention something about the yellow boxes but she figured she would fill out the whole thing anyway. They all nodded in agreement. Not one person in probably 10 around me had followed directions. Then Cleaning-Lady realized that she had no application. She had skipped that line so we sent her off to get the application and welcomed her back after about 10 minutes. This was not cutting the line; we were family, and nobody in line had a problem with it. I think Cleaning-Lady will get hired. She was articulate, positive and dressed nicely. Pot-Smoker is a longshot. College-Grad is a shoe-in if he can stay concise. iPad-Guy? Well, when he got to the desk with the IKEA folks they asked him what type of job he was applying for. He stood tall and clearly and confidently stated “Management”. I almost lost it. The two IKEA ladies stole a glance at each other,  turned back to him and simultaneously said “We are not hiring managers at this point.” Undeterred, he said, “Well, I guess anything else that’s available.” I admired his flexibility. They perused his application and set him up for an interview. Due to the crowd, the wait would be 1.5 hours. I was next and explained that I wanted to be involved with the IKEA launch and that I would be open to doing anything, but would prefer a floor sales position. They also offered me an interview in 1.5 hours, so I asked if there were any other alternatives. They set me up for an interview the very next day at 2:30 at the IKEA temporary offices in Fishers. Perfect. I turned to leave, said good-bye and good luck to all my new friends.  I was feeling like I just might see one or two of them again.

Next week: IKEA; The Interview

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