In my never-ending search for quirky short-term jobs/experiences, I’ve recently found a great one: I signed up to work for the government!

 As you know, every 10 years the Federal government executes a Census to count the population of the country, recording where each person lives. I thought I could help.

The application for a Census worker was interesting. It did not ask at all about qualifications, education, or work experience. Just 10 or so multiple-choice situational questions. And it was pretty easy to determine which answers were “best”. For example, one true-false question stated:

“Doing personal business on work time is like stealing”.

Seems obvious what they would like to hear from you. But, as with most things, the real answer is “It depends”. So, I put FALSE, knowing full well that it might deep-6 my application. Turns out the government did not care because I did get a call to continue my application for a Census Enumerator: those folks who knock on doors of people who have not responded to the initial Census mailing. As of last month, nearly 4 in 10 American households are still uncounted. The Census is required by the Constitution and it helps determine federal funding of schools, hospitals, roads and other local community programs. Businesses can also access Census data to help decide where to build factories, offices, and stores, creating economic activity and jobs. I found myself explaining this to a few people who had never heard of the Census. The Census also determines the number of seats each state has in the House of Representatives, as well as the congressional and state legislative lines.

The first census was taken in 1790, about a year after the inauguration of George Washington, and was managed under the direction of Thomas Jefferson. There were 6 questions in that census taken in the original 13 states plus the districts of Kentucky, Maine, and Vermont, and the Southwest Territory (Tennessee). The number of questions has not grown significantly.

As usual, my friends and family were dubious of my new career path. And I must confess to a level of niggling concern. After all, the world has gone crazy. The challenges presented by the COVID-19 virus have delayed the implementation of the Enumerator team and have forced policy changes. I correctly anticipated that this would impact my welcome at many homes. And the social unrest coursing the country is also at play. As we navigate sorely needed changes to our social structure, some of these demonstrations have taken on an ugly look/feel. Would this impact my visits to Black households? Relatedly, what about anti-government sentiment so common in some areas around here? Would I, as an agent of the government, be the target of aggressive non-cooperation?

Regardless, I began my short-term gig with a 2 hour live training session in the basement of a government building in Indianapolis. It was makeshift in every sense of the word, and all of the masked employees I met there were ‘temporary’. I received my government-issued iPhone, ID, and paraphernalia. I also took an Oath of Office, which featured the following: “I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic”. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but be careful what you say around me because I am now bound by oath to take action against insurgence.

16 hours of online training followed and I must say it was well-done. Clearly the government spares no expense in hiring communications companies to build excellent on-line modules that rival anything that I experienced at GSK. The training included a review of the history of Census, employment law (EEO, harassment, retaliation, etc), interviewing skills, and how to execute our duties. Essentially, we knock on a door, explain who we are and why we are there, then use our iPhone to execute an interview which branches based on responses. The interview attempts to capture names and relationships of occupants, their phone numbers, sex, birth dates, ethnicity and race. It takes about 10 minutes. Oh, and there was considerable time spent during training emphasizing that the information I collect is highly confidential and illegal to discuss. The penalty for exposing data collected on the job is 5 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. That was repeated often. The penalty for exposing data collected on the job is 5 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. SO, I will attempt to share my experience with you without sharing PII or Personally Identifiable Information.

They try to assign Enumerators to neighborhoods that are close to where they live. I live in an interesting area called Geist on the north side of Indianapolis, which straddles Marion and Hamilton counties. The social/economic profile of the area runs the gamut from very low to very high. There are multi-million dollar mansions on Geist Lake, upper middle class subdivisions, blue-collar subdivisions, first-time home-buyer subdivisions, rural households with half-mile long driveways, some farms, high-end apartments, and lower end apartments. Each day I’d wake up with my list of ‘cases’ loaded on my census iPhone and eventually I wandered into each and every living scenario just mentioned.

Overall I will say that my faith in humanity has been restored. On the whole, people were very nice and welcoming. Here are some generalizations:

People in multi-million dollar homes were the most aloof, distant, cynical and suspicious. Maybe because they have so much to lose? These were not my favorite places to visit, and I had quite a few in my caseload. Many of these folks winter in Florida and were stuck there on Census day, which was April 1. And many were claiming Florida residency because of the tax advantages (no state tax). It was hysterical to see how hard they tried to convince me of their Florida residence, some repeating over and over that fact. “ We are just about to go back this week” one woman yelled to me as I was interviewing her husband.

Another guy invited me into his home to chat. I declined, so we went to his side yard and sat down overlooking the lake. He was a calm, confident retired executive who was happy to spend some time with me. He also claimed Florida residency and we discussed the housing market in the Fort Myers/Naples area. We discussed the age-old debate between buying a home there or just renting for a few months in winter. His perspective was that neither is a sound financial move. “You do it for the lifestyle”, he said. “Rent for a few years until you get the lay of the land and understand the best areas, then buy.” Probably good advice.

The nicest, most welcoming people were found in developments with houses in the $200K – 300K range. Many were apologetic for not filling out the census, and some invited me in (which I always declined). And I happened upon my favorite cases here. On my very first day I knocked on the door of a home with vegetable and flower gardens planted all over. In the front, in the back, on the side, in the middle of the lawn…it was a little overkill but obviously gardening was a passion here. A little old black lady answered and was happy to help me with the questionnaire. Turns out she was a hero. Ten people lived in her house, including her adult daughter and husband and their children. She also had 3 adopted children of her own who were all developmentally disabled, and I could hear one of them chanting/yelling the whole time. I told her how much I admired her and we discussed gardening and growing old. She was the most delightful lady I met on the job.

Another interesting visit happened on my second day. I was in a similar blue-collar neighborhood and rang the doorbell of a house that was in need of attention. I noticed two dilapidated soccer chairs at the corner of the front yard surrounding a fire hydrant, like it was a fire pit. A guy in his mid-30s answered and I filled him in on what the Census was and why I was there. He slowly acquiesced to an interview, came outside and led us to the soccer chair/fire pit arrangement. We settled in but it was not easy to get responses out of him, as he seemed to contemplate each question, process it, then provide half answers. Like this:

Me: Besides you, how many people lived in this house on April 1 of this year?

Him: …Just me and my kids…

Me: OK, how many kids?

…And my wife…

Me: OK, what is her name?

…and her kids…

Eventually we determined that he lived there with his wife and kids, multiple from her and multiple from him; none shared. He eventually admitted that they were not married (“You know how it is”, he said with a shrug.)

Me: OK, I’m going to ask you for the birth dates of each kid. If you don’t know, no problem, we can deal with that.

He promptly reeled off the birth dates of all 8 children, hers and his. I was amazed and told him so.

“What kind of father doesn’t know the birthdays of his kids?”, he asked.

“You’re looking at him”, I replied.

He gave me a pass based upon my age and pulled out his phone. He face-timed his ‘wife’ to show her the Census man. Using colorful language, she told him that I looked like “that #&*%* cop who interrogated me”. Nice. Then he said, “check out his ride” as he showed her my car (a Tesla). More colorful language.

Eventually he hung up and we completed the interview. It was clear though that we were not done with one another. We both sat there in silence for about 20 seconds. Then he asked me questions about how I got the job, how much it pays, and how hard it is. He asked why I was doing this job so I told him about my search for new experiences that got me out of the house and meeting people. “I feel you”, he said, and I actually think he did. Insightfully, he asked if I ever have to go into “bad neighborhoods”. “On occasion”’ I said, “but by and large, people, especially in the poorer neighborhoods, were very friendly and helpful”. He nodded, and said, “Pandemic will do that”.  “What do you mean?”, I asked. “Well, we are all pulling together to fight this thing”. So interesting that, even as a black man,  he focused on COVID, and not the social movements swirling around Indy and the country. It caused me once again to question the reality of the situation and how media outlets can easily manipulate perspective.

I got up and we talked for another 5 minutes, and I briefly considered taking him for a ride in my car because he was so interested in it, but, although this guy is always the coolest person in the room, I thought better of it. It was a fun interaction.

Lots of people in apartments don’t fill out the Census. And did you know that it is now impossible to ‘buzz’ specific apartments in a building? I visited 3 different apartment complexes, some high end, some not. None of them provided the ability to ring to a specific apartment. They all had locked access doors with no directory. Unless you have the code, you can’t access the hallways. Strange. I had to meet with the apartment managers to determine occupancy; a nice shortcut.

The rural homes at the end of long driveways were my least favorite places. Many of these places were stunning but some were decidedly not. I’m not sure why I didn’t love going to these places. Perhaps because it looked obvious that they didn’t want any visitors, and I felt a bit like I was trespassing. Rarely was anyone home anyway.

I had lots of other interactions that were fun, like the little old lady who lived by herself and looked at least 10 years younger than her real age of 86. She adorably told me about how she was stuck in Florida in March until her “friend” brought her home on an 18 hour trip with stops only to get food and go to the bathroom. There were also some unpleasant people, but they are not worth discussing.

All in all, I worked for only 3 weeks as a Census Enumerator. The charm of the job faded quickly, but more importantly, I received a job offer as a COVID-19 Contact Tracer! I had applied many weeks ago and just heard back recently. Training starts this week. This should be interesting and I’ll be sure to fill you in.

As always, Thanks for reading, and go to my2020census.gov if you haven’t done so yet!

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