In my blog about my daughter’s wedding, I mentioned how fortunate I felt to have met my very special wife Jean, and marry into her amazing family. Jean is one of 12, yes 12, children; and every one of those 12 is pretty remarkable. No ‘black sheep’ in this family. College graduates all, 7 (including Jean) have Engineering degrees. 1 Management degree. 2 are Dietitians. 1 is an Accountant. And 1 became a Drug Rep! They are all married, and their spouses are just as amazing. They married doctors, lawyers, engineers, and all manner of successful people. But it’s really not the level of success that they all have achieved in life, although that is certainly impressive to me, it’s that to a person, these are warm, caring, gregarious people who enjoy life, and go out of their way to help others. Actually, that’s not accurate. They really don’t go out of their way to support others; it just comes naturally. And of course, they are a product of their upbringing which brings us to Jean’s parents, Richard and Bernadette; two of the most incredible people you will ever meet. Let me tell you about them:

Bernadette was raised in a small town in western Illinois named Spring Valley. Spring Valley was a mining town populated mostly by Italian and Irish immigrants. Her father was a lawyer who did work mostly for the local miners and farmers, who often could not pay much for his services, which was OK with him. It’s clear to me that the seeds of generosity and service for others were sown here in Spring Valley. Bernadette graduated from the University of Illinois where she earned a bachelor’s degree in English. Watch your grammar around her; she will correct you.

While at U of I she met a brash ROTC engineering student who knows his mind and who decided that this young English major was rather intriguing. Bernadette didn’t stand a chance. They were married shortly after graduation and they fulfilled his military obligation in Washington DC. Eventually, they made their way back to Rich’s ‘old neighborhood’ in Chicago; Roseland, mostly Italian/Lithuanian/Polish, where your neighbors are usually relatives. As time went by and their family grew, the neighborhood changed, and they made the big move out of Chicago to a rural section of NW Indiana. And I do mean rural. Before we were married, Jean asked me to join her at her friend’s wedding. I couldn’t make the ceremony, so she gave me directions to her house, so we could meet between the ceremony and the reception. No cell phones and no GPS then. The direction conversation went something like this:

Get off highway I-94 onto Route 49; a two-lane road. Make a left onto 450 North.

450 North? Is that a street!? (Remember I’m from Long Island where roads have names or numbers; not both.)

Yes, It’s a road; in fact, it’s a gravel road.

Whoa.

After a quarter mile, turn left onto a dirt road.

Whoa. You mean the ROAD is made of DIRT?!

Yes. Go a mile and turn right onto another dirt road. After about a half mile look for a big rock and turn left just before it. There is no street sign; it’s our driveway.

Whoa!

 (I’m sure she was thinking I was pretty thick by now and probably re-assessing her date choice, while I was thinking she was bonkers and maybe I should just forget this whole thing.)

Anyway, the house was about a half mile up the DIRT road/driveway. At the end of the driveway, I finally hit a pavement entrance to a beautiful large, long home that housed the 14 members of this family. As luck would have it, Jean was late and I got to meet some of the family members on my own. Mike, the youngest at 10 years, was mowing the large front lawn with a small tractor. He jumped off the machine to give me a warm, enthusiastic greeting. Inside I met Mary, a bright, energetic, and inquisitive teenager who grilled me nonstop for 45 minutes. It was the middle of summer on a particularly hot day, and I was dressed in a suit and tie. I sweat easily, and my face was dripping. Richard (Dad) came home before Jean arrived and we had a nice conversation while I sopped up the sweat pouring down my face. He must have thought I was an escaped convict from New York.

As it turns out, the house was built by Richard (Dad). You see, he was majority owner in a construction firm started by his grandfather before the depression. His father Humberto, a very impressive guy in his own right, helped keep the ship afloat through the depression by force of will. The Company really took off when Richard took over and made some important changes, including moving from residential to commercial building. Richard was the kind of contractor who not only would deliver what was requested but would actually improve upon building plans, making them more efficient and cost-effective. His reputation as an honest and trustworthy partner helped to grow the business. Richard, now in his mid-80s, still goes into work a few days a week, and the company is thriving under the management of 4 of Richard’s engineer sons.

So Richard and Bernadette have 12 children and you probably guessed that they are devoutly Catholic. The whole family remains deeply devoted to their faith and they are very active in the Catholic community. They live their faith every day and I am often humbled by their generosity and devotion to helping others. And this is a fruitful family. As of this writing, Rich and Bernadette have 72 grandchildren and 21 great-grandchildren. (2024 update: 60 great-grandchildren). They are healthy, happy people who are naturally athletic. Many have set high school records in track, field, and other sports, and at last count, there were 5 Division 1 athletes, including 3 football players. Yes, these are not small people. All the men, (and some of the women), are over 6 feet tall. I am 5’7”, and growing up in NY, I really didn’t know I was vertically challenged until I moved to Chicago, where they grow ‘em big. Now, I find myself looking up at the young teenagers in this extended family.

As you might expect, Thanksgiving is a major event here. More than half the family was in attendance at this year’s Thanksgiving celebration at the above-mentioned house.  We had 47 adults, 10 children and 5 babies. And this doesn’t include the multitude of friends who stopped by for a bit because they want to spend some time with people who have been so open, helpful and supportive. And, of course, for a plate of food. This is a family that is obsessed with quality food. My brother-in-law once commented, and it is spot on, that this family is either talking about the meal they just ate, the meal they are eating now, or the meal they will be eating next. Great cooks abound in this family. In fact, every two years Richard and Bernadette lease a villa in the hills of northern Italy and visitors rotate in and out during the two-month occupation. Even though they are in the heart of Italy, they still enjoy most of their meals at the villa where Bernadette, Rich, and their helpers whip up magical epicurean delights.

So now I have a request. Remember that 10-year-old tractor-driver who was the first family member I met? Well he is also an engineer and he married an incredible woman named Brandy. They have 3 lovely children, and one, 8-year-old Bella, is now battling cancer.

In July she was diagnosed with neuroblastoma stage 4 cancer which requires prolonged and powerful chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation. She has been a warrior princess as she battled through five rounds of 5-day Chemotherapy treatments, although they have not been without incident. A recent CT scan confirms that the chemo is shrinking her tumors and making a real dent in this disease. Bella goes in for surgery this week to remove what is left of her tumors. She will then transition to phases 2 through 4 of her treatment. So she still has a long journey ahead. I’d like to ask those of you who are open to the power of prayer to include little Bella and her parents in your daily offerings. Bella has a world map that charts her prayer network, which has now reached 5 continents. I’d like to include you too if you are so inclined, so let me know you are in and we will add you to the army. Thanks and God Bless all of you.

UPDATE 2018

A heartfelt THANKS to those who replied to the blog, or on Facebook, or texted or called to express their good wishes or to enlist in Bella’s prayer army. She had surgery yesterday and did very well. The surgeon removed 95% of the remaining tumors. Cycle 6 of chemo starts next week along with radiation. Truly a warrior princess.

On a lighter note; yes, those dirt and gravel ‘roads’ were paved many years ago. Just another thing for me to be thankful for, I guess.

Update 2024: Bella has been cancer-free for years and is now a beautiful, talented 15 year old.

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