I have always admired those who can make music, either with their voice or a physical instrument. I just think it’s magical. As my family will attest, although I have a deep appreciation for music of all types, the genes responsible for tonality, and the ability to carry a note, have slipped off my chromosomes. So, no singing for me (at least not in public). The only thing left is to play an instrument, but my early experience with the flutophone led me to believe that reading music and translating it into a mechanical response quickly enough to keep time on a tune was also a talent that I did not possess. Playing music utilizes very specific pathways in the brain and I’m afraid that I am woefully short on the cortical architecture required. That is, until I hit upon the controversial “Think Method” espoused by the esteemed Professor Harold Hill. As he explains, “You don’t have to worry about the notes. You only have to THINK a tune and it will come out just like you want.”

I employed the Think Method one morning when I picked up my son’s violin. OK, it was a toy violin. I took up the bow, placed it on the pad and pulled. I played the first note to Mary Had a Little Lamb. I then angled the bow to simulate a lower note and pushed through to hear the second note. I continued to play, each time angling the bow in the direction I thought the next note should be (up or down). I played a perfect rendition of that classical piece of music, and I was quite astounded. I looked up with wide eyes to see my wife looking at me and shaking her head. She knew that I thought I played the song. Her look said, “You are a dolt.” Too nice to say that, she did say, “You didn’t play that song, you know. The violin is programmed to play a few songs and each time you drag the bow along the pad, the next note comes out.”

… oh.

That was the end of my violin playing. Violin starts with V and that rhymes with T and that stands for Trouble, you know.

My next chance at learning to play came when our kids were old enough to take Piano lessons. To aid in their musical indoctrination we bought an upright piano and placed it in our living room. I did not take the formal lessons, but tried to follow along in the lesson books. It went fine for a little while (OK, after the first two lessons) but then it started getting more complicated. My fingers were sloppy, uncoordinated and just couldn’t cleanly hit the keys I was aiming for. I truly felt spastic. Anyway, I soon decided that Piano wasn’t for me because, after all, Piano starts with P and that rhymes with T and that stands for Trouble.

Then the video game GUITAR HERO hit the market and I got another chance at fame and fortune. GUITAR HERO was fun, and I developed a modicum of proficiency, but it is certainly more video game than guitar playing. Soon GUITAR HERO morphed into ROCK BAND, complete with vocals and drums. I can’t sing for beans, but I can keep a beat, so the drums seemed perfect for me. Who knew they were so complicated, even in this stupid video game? 

My kids were constantly upset at me because I would fail miserably, keeping to my own beat rather than playing the notes as demanded by the game. I am definitely more manic Keith Moon than beat-meister Ringo Starr. Another fail.

So fast forward to a few years ago when I decided to get serious about learning to play a real guitar. My sons and daughters all play guitar to some degree so I grabbed one of theirs and a few learning guides and set out to challenge Eric Clapton.

Holy Crap. It is HARD. Notes, chords, pressure, picking, strumming. A couple of years ago I was at a meeting with other RVPs at Glaxo when I fell into a discussion with Randy R. He is a superb RVP on the east coast whose forte is developing people; not a bad forte to have. Somehow the conversation turned to musicians and I tell him that I am learning to play the guitar. He becomes animated and supportive in that understated, college-professorial Randy way. He shares that he has played for some time and asks me about specific chords that give me problems. I share that F and E are particularly tough on my stubby fingers and he gives some tips on easier ways to play those chords (cheats) that sound just like the correct way. Nice!

The next day at breakfast he hands me 2 large magazines on guitars and guitar playing. To call them magazines actually demeans them. They were those oversized, heftier, silky books printed on high-quality paper with interesting articles on guitar players and playing tips. He tells me that he always brings a few to while away the hours in

the hotel between meetings. Now, the first thing I know is that there are not a lot of hours to while away in our hotel rooms. These meetings are jam-packed with little time for quiet reflection in our rooms; but OK. The next thing I notice the next day at the airport as I flip through one of the books is the receipt stuck deep inside. It seems that rather than reading material allegedly brought from home, Randy had gone out the previous night to a guitar store and bought these pricey tomes specifically for me. Another reminder of the magic of the friendships we make along the way. And proof that there are folks who are addicted to people development in all forms. Find these gems in your organization and enlist their aid. Ever appreciative of this gesture though, this does put a bit of pressure on me to continue to work on the darn instrument so I can report progress to Randy at future meetings or conference calls. And he does ask.

Sadly, my guitar prowess has not improved meaningfully, mostly because I am frustrated by the slow pace and the time necessary to make headway. I must confess that I had put the guitar away for a bit. Now that I am retired though I have added the instrument to my bucket list and will schedule it into the next few months. Come to think of it though, Guitar does start with G and that rhymes with T and ….

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